you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize