I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
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I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
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My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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