Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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