do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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