she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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