Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
A bitchslap is in order.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize