I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I look better un-naked...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
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I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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