Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
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She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
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who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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