You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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