I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
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Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
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I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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