I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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