The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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