you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3pm strippers are depressing
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
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