I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
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you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
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THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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