Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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