No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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