I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
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I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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