I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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