The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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