pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
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I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
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I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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