She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
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Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
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Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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