I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
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We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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