This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize