My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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