dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize