hotel room ftw
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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