while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think I have vodka in my lungs
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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