He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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