Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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