Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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