I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize