Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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