With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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