Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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