How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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