Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
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If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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