By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize