dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
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