mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
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i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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