My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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