It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize