the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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