You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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