I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize