I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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