i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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