GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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