I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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