I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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