she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
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Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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